The Power of Positive Thinking


I think we can all agree the life-changing power of positive thinking has the same irrefutable voracity of chakra therapy and horoscopes. So it is complete and inarguable fact. Recently, I let the power of positivity into my life, and the change has been unreal. It is unbelievable that positive thinking is responsible for all the great things that are happening to me, but I know it’s true because I’m sure it’s not false; that’s the kind of logic you’re privy to only when you surrender yourself to the spiritual vortex of positivity. Here are a few things that happened to me because of my new can-do attitude.

22 People Followed my Blog!
This may seem like a paltry number compared to some of the great writers out there, but after restarting this blog I expected maybe one person to stop by and tell me I’m adequate. But, with the power of positive thinking, I can say it’s because of me that you 22 amazing people are reading the weird stuff I write. I’d thank you, but apparently I did all the deciding for you! That’s right, it’s because of me that you decided to click a button. Positivity, it just makes things sort of happen.

The Weekend Came!
My new I-can-do-anything outlook has really changed the way I live, and maybe some of you noticed that the week just sped by! Well, it may not surprise you, but the days passing quicker is entirely my doing. You can blame it all on a smile. With the power of relentless optimism and a flash of teeth, I can time travel!

I Got Accepted to a Master’s Program!
4 depraved years of sleepless nights, a desolate social life, and no dates to speak of all had nothing to do with my acceptance to a Master’s program. No, it’s all thanks to my fresh take on the world. It turns out that by believing I can do anything, I can actually do anything! Never mind, how much work doing all that stuff actually is. It’s the thought that counts, and all those self help books and The Secret were right. I guess I can finally take “academic success” off my %100 successful vision board.

My Cat Meowed Back at Me!
This incredible and totally unprecedented event has no explanation whatsoever and might just be a random occurrence. Well, that’s what someone who hasn’t let the power of good vibes into their life might say. Good thing we know the difference!

My Head Hurts All the Time!
Gosh, this one doesn’t sound so great, but the teachings of positivity tell me that if I feel good enough about something, then something good has to come from it. Some people call Positivity, or “Positivitude” as I dubbed my new positive attitude, a new kind of fortune cookie, chakra bullshit, but I know it’s the truth because colorful pamphlets told me so. So what if I hurt all the time! The doctor can’t prescribe the good feelings that I know will heal me, so why even go?

See, it’s just the truth that positivity is changing my life for the better. What else could possibly be responsible for all these incredible things happening to me: religion, work, or the healing power of coincidence are certainly impossible options. Listen, to get real for a moment, all I’m saying is that I am a wizard with the power to control time and space using my good feelings. So please, try to be happy, let some joy into your life because it’ll do unbelievable things, and from now on call me Euphorio the Smile Wizard.

4 Replies to “The Power of Positive Thinking”

    1. I smiled at a bunch of clovers today so I think we both know how much luck I’ve got coming. It’s a good thing I’m so happy all the time or you wouldn’t have thought of helping me.


  1. I just knew this post would be epic judging by the title. And the “Euphorio the Smile Wizard” was the (merry) cherry on top (which is to say, by the time I got there, I was laughing quasi-hysterically).

    PS: You’re adequate.

    (hey, the power of positivity worked!)

    Liked by 1 person

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