A weird thing happened, and I’m still a little confused by it. Someone thought I was sufficient enough to nominate me for a thing.
The very kind and generally benevolent blogger Miles of Pages nominated me for the Unique Blogger award. I’m both flattered and gently confused by this wildly nice act: flattered because it’s super kind and totally unexpected, and confused because I don’t know how they had the time to nominate me for this when they’re obviously busy being one of the best people the world has to offer. I bet they’ve rescued like 40 puppies from burning buildings.
I’m new to this whole “award” thing so I’m shamelessly copying the intrepid archetype of internet benevolence who nominated me. The next thing I’m supposed to do is share the rules for this thing.
Here they are:
- Share the link of the blogger who has shown love to you by nominating you.
- Answer the questions.
- In the spirit of sharing love and solidarity with our blogging family, nominate 8-13 people for the same award.
- Ask them 3 questions.
Now for the questions, which feel like the main event. I hope my answers are satisfactory.
1 What is your biggest pet peeve, or more accurately what is something you hate that you could rant about for hours?
Oh, golly. I’ve written at some length about the many things that tickle the rage-section of my already irritable brain, and most of those things fall into one huge category. My biggest pet peeve is people who unwittingly violate the rules of society I think are set in stone. This includes people who press the button at crosswalks too many times when one is perfectly fine for getting the thing to work. Or people who walk slowly and block the entire sidewalk and drive me to fantasize about all the creative ways I could put a machete to use. Or the perfect strangers who try to intrude upon the innately private act of grocery shopping with their chatter. I will inevitably be driven to insanity or violence or insane violence by people who look to the unspoken rules of being a person and break them without hesitation or remorse.
2 What is your favorite book? Or since I know how hard that is, What is the book that had the greatest impact on your life?
All my life I’ve resisted this question. I don’t openly advertise what I read very much which is a habit I got into from reading Lord of the Rings or other giant fantasy books alone all through school. I always felt like I’d be made fun of for loving dragons more than people, even though I don’t think that kind of bully exists as commonly anymore. When people asked me what I was reading, my favorite answer was “alone.” But rules are rules. One of the books that has had the most influence on my life is Sir Terry Pratchett’s Reaper Man. Pratchett is an author that can look at the world with all its flaws, then hurl it into one of his own making and make those flaws seem both laughable and totally solvable. He taught me that humor and you do not need to hate the world to critique it, and your criticism certainly doesn’t need to be boring. Also, he’s got puns out the wazoo.
3 If you could off and do anything today, right now, what would it be?
I don’t know if this is something I should answer completely truthfully. The version of this answer that I’m comfortable sharing is a little tamer than what I might scream into a pillow or sob to my therapist while curled in a ball clutching a pillow, so here goes. I would rob a bank. Assuming I can do anything, then I’d get away with it, but the robbery isn’t really the part I’m looking forward to; it’s just a source of income. With my ill-gotten funds, I’d go to every pet store and shelter I could find and buy every adult animal I could find. The kittens and puppies will get adopted on their own, but the old animals don’t have as much of a chance. Then, I’d buy a large apartment complex, and I’d release my army of animals into it. I’d install cameras in every room, and I’d start the first animal-only reality tv show.
Ok, now for the other bloggers who are unique and fantastic and nice enough to share their respective uniqueness with the rest of the internet.
My questions for you glorious 8 are as follows:
- What is something you’d show from a rooftop on a Sunday night during a rainstorm? Also, explain why at your leisure.
- What is something you could enjoy complaining a lot about?
- What is something you think about that keeps you awake?
Thank you again to Miles of Pages, and I look forward to seeing what all you unique people have to write.