The original title of this post was “Ugly Babies and I Made a Facebook,” but I realized just in time that I didn’t want to sound like I was starting a collaborative Facebook page with a bunch of gross children. So here we are.
My brother and I play a game together occasionally. We each open our respective Facebook pages, we go to the little “Friends” tab, and then we see who can purge the most people from our lives. I highly recommend Friend Chicken to anyone with over 50 people connected to them online. It is cathartic to look at all those acquaintances and coworkers and classmates and just-distant-enough relatives and then slash them from your digital existence. I have not found a real-word equivalent yet. The closest thing I can imagine is inviting a bunch of people over to your house for a party, and then hiding in the bathroom and texting them all to leave. That is also appealing, and I might have to give it a try if I ever decide to throw a party.
It took me until this year to have a Facebook picture that actually had my face in it. I’m a pretty private person. I’ve got my account blocked to lower the likelihood that any of my students will find me. I do this not because I’ve got a particularly interesting life I want to keep from them but because I don’t want to see their lives. Several of my students in the past have come in clearly hungover, and other than a quick glare, I prefer not to know or engage with that part of their lives. I’d also rather they didn’t know that there is a real possibility that I was hungover at the same time as them. So I keep my online and professional lives separate.
A disturbing trend I’ve seen online is for parents to make Facebook accounts for their babies. I haven’t yet received a friend request from the infant child of any of the many babies apparently on Facebook, but I look forward to rejecting it. Despite my revulsion with the trend of baby Facebooks, I’m actually going to participate. This blog is a little over 1 year old, and like a parent that takes too many pictures of their child and inflicts them upon the internet, I’ve made a Facebook for my ugly little baby.
Follow it if you want to.
I think there’s a way to send me messages there, which is a real plus if you want to accept the potential of me accidentally forgetting to respond because I’m so caught up in the hurricane of my own self involvement.
Also, I might post stuff there. Who knows.