Things I want to do this summer

Aside from how pointy and triangular my nose is, I only really have one thing in common with birds: we both care quite a lot about the season. Summer is coming, and with it will be the chance to live as I want without the interference of cold precipitation or homework or wet socks or needing to schedule times to catch up on sleep in covert corners of the library. There’s a lot I want to do with all this time, and I want to share my goals with the world in case anyone out there also wants to make the most of their summer.

I think it’s going to be a useful few months

So here is my to-do list, which I hope to have systematically worked through by the time August lumbers around.

  1. Sleep on a large, flat rock perfectly placed with just enough shade to cover my face and just enough sun to keep me warm and cozy.
  2. Eliminate gnats with a homemade flamethrower… again.
  3. Take a bath while watching cat videos on Youtube.
  4. Try to bathe my cat while watching human videos on Youtube.
  5. Learn to drive because somehow I never got around to it. Been busy.
  6. Buy a car.
  7. Buy a medieval-style lance.
  8. Convince someone to car-joust with me.
  9. Have some tea on a lazy morning.
  10. Add some vodka to that tea and have a different kind of lazy morning.
  11. Pet my cat.
  12. Pet two cats.
  13. Pet three cats.
  14. Pet more than three cats while interviewing each of them about their likes and dislikes, their hobbies, aspirations, and favorite fish.
  15. Topple the capitalist regime that subjugates the poor so it may elevate the rich.
  16. Go on some nice hikes.
  17. Take up archery.
  18. Steal from the rich using only my wits, the shelter of the forest, and my mastery of the bow and arrow.
  19. Try knitting.
  20. Cook a really good veggie stir-fry.

I’m looking forward to a full, productive summer in which I get a few things done and then feel bad about not doing the rest. I’ll let you all know how it goes.

2 Replies to “Things I want to do this summer”

  1. ‘Buy a medieval-style lance. – Convince someone to car-joust with me.’ – Not being much of a cat person (*hides the lance*) these two came top of the choices in my book. Ideally, you would also have to be wearing as near as possible medieval garb too, as would your unfortunate opponent. You could use cat poo to make it smell authentic. See, I brought cats in at the end! All is well.

    – Esme cooking him the best damn veggie stir-fry of his life upon the Cloud

    Liked by 1 person

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