Aside from how pointy and triangular my nose is, I only really have one thing in common with birds: we both care quite a lot about the season. Summer is coming, and with it will be the chance to live as I want without the interference of cold precipitation or homework or wet socks or needing to schedule times to catch up on sleep in covert corners of the library. There’s a lot I want to do with all this time, and I want to share my goals with the world in case anyone out there also wants to make the most of their summer.
So here is my to-do list, which I hope to have systematically worked through by the time August lumbers around.
- Sleep on a large, flat rock perfectly placed with just enough shade to cover my face and just enough sun to keep me warm and cozy.
- Eliminate gnats with a homemade flamethrower… again.
- Take a bath while watching cat videos on Youtube.
- Try to bathe my cat while watching human videos on Youtube.
- Learn to drive because somehow I never got around to it. Been busy.
- Buy a car.
- Buy a medieval-style lance.
- Convince someone to car-joust with me.
- Have some tea on a lazy morning.
- Add some vodka to that tea and have a different kind of lazy morning.
- Pet my cat.
- Pet two cats.
- Pet three cats.
- Pet more than three cats while interviewing each of them about their likes and dislikes, their hobbies, aspirations, and favorite fish.
- Topple the capitalist regime that subjugates the poor so it may elevate the rich.
- Go on some nice hikes.
- Take up archery.
- Steal from the rich using only my wits, the shelter of the forest, and my mastery of the bow and arrow.
- Try knitting.
- Cook a really good veggie stir-fry.
I’m looking forward to a full, productive summer in which I get a few things done and then feel bad about not doing the rest. I’ll let you all know how it goes.