Posted on by Jessica

Short Post Because I’m Hungover

Hangovers are the overly attached new friends of drinking: you wake up, and someone you met the night before has already texted you, added you on Facebook, and is making dinner plans. They take over your life for one or two days, and then hopefully they’re gone forever. I have a new friend. I want it to die.

Hey, I know we seemed like good friends last night, but that’s because my brain was swimming in a pool of toxins that made me actually like people. 

I’ve had a two-day hangover before. I’ve had hangovers where I felt like I was an old piece of fruit that had been hit by a train. I’ve never had one like this, and it’s not because I was less responsible last night than I’ve ever been. It’s not because it was an amazing wedding reception with a full bar stocked by a bunch of people with very unhealthy drinking habits.

It’s because, by the time I was drinking, I had eaten very little and also done an 11-mile hike, half of which was up a mountain. A mountain named Humphreys, because, for the second time now, I’ve had to hike up a mountain with the name of a bank teller that is jealous of people brave enough to wear suspenders. 

Atop the balding head of Humphreys

It’s weird to feel like my body has been left in a dryer full of rocks when I was feeling just wonderful last night, but waking up this morning was like discovering my muscles had already begun to rot when it’s only my spirit that has died.

I want it to end.

Short post sponsored by suffering and alcohol and hiking.

21 Replies to “Short Post Because I’m Hungover”

  2. “I’ve had to hike up a mountain with the name of a bank teller that is jealous of people brave enough to wear suspenders. ”

    These lines are worth the soul wrenching hangover. Bravo maestro! Your humour is iron clad and strong enough to withstand the barrage of alcohol.

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  3. The next morning a soft boiled egg, toast, coffee, and a glass of orange juice takes away my nausea. I’m middle-aged so I’m mostly hungover every morning. If you can’t deal with soft boiled eggs, try bacon and eggs. If you hate orange juice try bacon sandwich with Bloody Mary. If you’re in a hurry just have a shot or two of cognac with your coffee. I’m not only middle-aged, I also live in Europe where in most places you can do shots in the morning in the same place you get your coffee.

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    1. I can definitely get behind this one. One of my problems is that I always feel like my core is rotten when I’m hungover, but orange juice is a magical elixir of life. I’ve also explored the ‘more liquor because you’re hurting from the liquor you drank last night,’ and I’m surprised something that sounds like it was invented by a crazy person works so well.

      I live in the US, where unfortunately, I think people would give me weird looks if I asked for a shot of anything other than espresso in my coffee.

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    1. oh, neato!
      I do wonder if I’m the right person for this particular version of this award though. I’m not terribly spiritual, and it seems like some of the questions are geared toward that, and I don’t want to intrude on that overall conversation or community.

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Well, ingesting things is fun, and I’m a supporter of it (though I don’t ingest alcoholic things myself). Just side eye whatever you ingest before you do. Maybe the things will fear you and not try to end your human life. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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