Hey there you mopey dipshit,
I’m writing to you from 10 years in the future, long after you’ve stopped listening to My Chemical Romance because you can’t articulate your feelings and right after you’ve started listening to them again because now you can.
There’s a lot we should talk about, starting with some feelings you’ve been dealing with for the last few years. I want to tell you those feelings are valid. You’re right in your intuition. During all those secret nights when you stayed awake dreaming of things that seemed impossible, you were just catching a glimpse of the future. Everything you believed in the back of your head is true: your cat totally hid your Gameboy charger! He totally did! One of mine tries to take my phone charger (in the future phones will have chargers and you will actually have one, bonkers right?) everyday! All those times you clutched your precious charger to your chest so you can play Pokemon without kitty interruption was you grasping a truth so much bigger than you, and I’m so proud of you for knowing your world so well, even when you were so young.
But, onto more serious topics. You’ve been keeping a secret. I know about it because I kept it for even longer than you have. I finally came to terms with it in my 20s, so I know you’ve got a ways to go, but I just want to assure you right now that things are going to be ok. People may learn about it, and one day you’ll even be proud that this is who you are, but one of the first steps is letting the knowledge out. Love who you are, good buddy, because plenty of other people also thought the 4th Harry Potter book was dull as shit. Like, yeah, I get it, the whole “triwizard tournament” is supposed to be really exciting and oh no the main character got magically shoehorned into this whole ordeal, but god damn the pacing was just all kinds of wonky. That book spent so much time on the rising action that for the climax to just be the bad guy coming to life again–even though it’s not like he’s been that dead for the last 3 books–and some rando dying, which would be tragic if that death weren’t used as something to drive Harry’s character rather than being inherently sad because a child died. But no, we just had to fucking teach millions of young people that when someone dies, it’s time to look at how sad someone almost entirely unaffiliated with the dead are. People can be so selfish, and that’s also something you’ll learn.
Right now you may think you’re dead, but just you wait buckaroo. You think you’re numb to tragedy now? You think you’ve been sad for so long it just faded into the background and now you’re some kind of gray bit of walking tragedy dough? Well, you’re right, but things are going to get better, and by getting better, things will also get worse. When you see the gum-specked cement on your way to school, do you ever feel a strange kinship there? Well, you should, because emotionally you and that chunk of pulverized stone-meal are in about the same place. I remember when one of your best friends moved away, and you didn’t even tremble. For reference, I saw a dog in a t-shirt 3 hours ago and still get choked up thinking about how proud of that bold fashion it looked. You’re a pretty emotionally vacant person at this stage of your life, but you won’t always be, and dude, it’s a lot worse. Really, feelings are so much fucking worse. It turns out not reacting to something awful in your life doesn’t mean you won’t have to react to it eventually. You’re basically a toddler so you may not have experienced this yet, but if you don’t pay your bills for a long time, you just have to pay more. You aren’t sad about the shit you’ve got going on right now, but my darling little sociopath, you’re going to be.
One final note, you’re going to be disillusioned. You’ll be sad. You might think there’s no hope for someone like you, like us, and I promise there is. There are so many people like us, and you’ll meet them and you’ll give to each other so much, and it will be wonderful. Together you will get through some of the greatest hardships you’ll face. Of course, I mean other people who super dig books about dragons who then have to deal with the fuck-awful movie adaptations. Trust me, you’ll find plenty of people on the internet who agree with you about how bad the Eragon movie was–even if it hasn’t come out yet for you. Honestly, just stick to books. They’ll always be there for you.
PS: Oh, before I forget, you’re a girl and very, very gay so look out for that ❤