Between 3 and 5 Reasons Why You (Yes You) and I Can’t Be Friends

I know you and I were friends once, and for some time I’ve been avoiding you. Here are the reasons why. 1. The Sexual Tension Let’s not kid ourselves. You’ve seen me across the room, and I’ve obviously studied your sweet rockin’ bod while you were giving the glance to that oil painting of the …

An Introduction

For the first post of this new, reinvigorated Non-Euclidean sofa, I’d like to introduce myself. However, wanting to do something and actually doing it are completely different things. I’d like to introduce myself, but I’m not going to do that. The internet--where I live with neighbors like you--is terrifying to me, and I’d rather not …