There used to be a time when I could say without lying “I do not have 3 magic markers and a rubber duck in my bag.” That time has passed because teaching is weird, and I might be too. Over the Summer, I taught a small group and had a pack of feral high school …
Back to Work and I Look Like Trash
Today, someone’s first impression of me was of a vaguely homeless-looking mop wearing a sweat-stained shirt with some kind of reptilian sea woman on it, dirty shorts, and running shoes that match the rest of the outfit which looked like it was cobbled together by a troll living under a bridge. First impressions are important …
My Ideal Classroom is Definitely Not A Dystopia
Somehow I’ve always been one of those students who both dreads the beginning of a new school year while paradoxically begging for it to finally come. I haven’t changed much as a teacher, and the school year is fast approaching like a train I cannot decide if I want to ride or to hit me. …
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My Cat is a Mob Boss, and Why I’m Optimistic About My Students
I started my day with a twitching lizard body writhing on my bedroom floor and my cat looking up at me and meowing in a tone she normally reserves for other cats just before she assaults them. I looked down at this furry murderer, and all I could think of was how much like a …
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I’m Finally a Real Teacher
I’ve taught a few English classes, tutored a few hundred students, run workshops with awful attendance, talked far too enthusiastically about the merits of thinking of writing as a process. I once unironically slammed my fist on a desk and said “writing is fucking hard, man,” because it is, and because I am not what …
