My life didn’t turn out exactly how I planned it. This is noticeable first by the sad absence of a dragon in my daily routine. I also expected to either be a dead man or a wildly successful archaeologist that only studies the past to find old swords and fight monsters with them. I didn’t …
Affection Anxiety
I love every cat I’ve ever met, and I make sure to tell them. I met a cat when I was walking home, and I spent so much time petting her and telling her that my love was eternal and unconditional that I missed my bus. This is not an isolated event. I scroll through …
Making Soup for Friends and Hoping for Revolution
My salary puts me right around the income level of a Bartender who noticeably spits in every drink she serves. I don’t make much, and nobody tips me. If my cat needed to go to the vet, or if my nephew stabbed his father, or if I suddenly had a wild desire to own a …
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By the way
In first grade, I brought a conch shell to show and tell because I’d heard if you blow in them, it can sound like a warhorn. I like to think the warrior ancestors of every child in that room cowered at the wild roar of the shell I’d taken without permission from a counter in …
Hello Again
Hello Again I missed you all. I’d like to explain why I was gone, but the reason is still a little unclear to me. Have you ever returned home after being away for a few days and found that something is just off. You walk around the house, check the lights, see that all your …
Non-Euclidean Sofa 