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Tag: Comedy

Posted on November 27, 2018November 27, 2018

Making Soup for Friends and Hoping for Revolution

My salary puts me right around the income level of a Bartender who noticeably spits in every drink she serves. I don’t make much, and nobody tips me. If my cat needed to go to the vet, or if my nephew stabbed his father, or if I suddenly had a wild desire to own a …

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Posted on August 11, 2018

I Felt Like Writing About Naps

Somehow, I’ve slept more and less in the last few years than any other time in my life. I’ve definitely slept more frequently because I’ve learned to appreciate day naps, outside naps, on-the-floor naps, post-burrito naps, and naps where the cat sat on me and never got up. But I’ve also never ignored the commonly …

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Posted on July 28, 2018

Hungover Dreams of Warm Fields

Is being hungover a valid reason to leave the country? Right now, I can hear three things that make me wonder what it would be like to live somewhere quiet and distant and probably with a windmill. I can hear a train going through town; the horn is going off and it weirdly sounds like …

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Posted on May 14, 2018

A Concern About Teaching and Toasters

As it so happens, I’m not really a person. I’m more of a sassy tuna casserole because some people like me quite a lot, but those people probably haven’t thought enough about what I actually am or what it’s like interacting with me. Everyone else recognizes that I am a combination of ingredients that never …

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Posted on May 10, 2018

I’m Graduating Tomorrow

I have paid ninety dollars for a blanket that I will wear in front of thousands of people. My name will be called, and to almost everyone present, that will be as important as the name of the waitress they didn’t tip because their eggs were over medium instead of over easy. A few people …

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