Mostly Adequate!
You’re on your own, and that’s fucking fine. This isn’t a step-by-step guide, but step one is to scream into a pillow “I’m doing fine” until you, your pillow, and your neighbors believe it with the same level of certainty that’s normally reserved for racists and children who have just learned to lie. You’re fine, …
Continue reading "An Aggressive Guide to Cooking for One: Steam Some Veggies Like an Adult"
By an unfortunate chain of events--your entire life--you have found yourself in proximity to the legendary eggshell-white dragon Baelyxxterrix, the Bully, bane of dinner parties, the mean dragon at recess, the relentless asshole of dragon social circles. Though your fortune looks bleak, with some wit and this guide, you may just live long enough to …
Continue reading "How to Survive an Encounter with the dragon Baelyxxterrix, the Bully"
Do you see this chubby, dead-eyed tuberculotic mongrel-thing. This is some kind of sparrow, and it spends its day divided equally between spitting virulent phlegm at my window, screaming, and releasing heinous jets of diseased filth from whatever orifice into which it doesn’t shovel stolen food. This compact ball of ill-intent and oily feathers moves …
Non-Euclidean Sofa 