My body has achieved that point of greatness in which I can now narrowly outpace a chubby prairie dog on my bike, assuming I slept well, had a light breakfast, there is no wind, and I didn’t over-exert myself going up a steep hill. I think I’m nearing my peak, the zenith of my fitness, …
Every Time I Teach Hungover
I imagine seeing me hungover is a rite of passage of sorts for students in my class. They can come every day, learn everything I’ve got to teach, laugh at all my jokes--”laughing at my jokes not mandatory but is demonstrative of a well-rounded sense of humor and a strong moral compass,” as I wrote …
I Forgot Mornings Are B******t
As with everything in my life, something has gone wrong because I slept. I remember first learning about hibernation. The little kid version of me was endlessly jealous that bears got to stuff themselves with their favorite foods and then fall asleep in a cozy cave for an entire season. The idea still appeals to …
I Might Ruin My Students
I start teaching again in three days. Of all the things this is--frightening, exciting, calling into question my long-held beliefs on whether I should work or steal from the rich as they travel through the forest--one thing it is not is a drill. Whether or not I go to the pre-academy staff lunch that I …
Do I Want Another Degree or Can I Sleep Forever
I fucking hate jogging. There’s no clever way of saying it. Jogging is the absolute worst. There is nothing worse than jogging. It is pointless torture on the body and soul: you run, but you can’t run too fast or you won’t be able to run as long as you need to. You often have …
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Non-Euclidean Sofa 