My life didn’t turn out exactly how I planned it. This is noticeable first by the sad absence of a dragon in my daily routine. I also expected to either be a dead man or a wildly successful archaeologist that only studies the past to find old swords and fight monsters with them. I didn’t …
My Phone Broke so Obviously I Don’t Need to Run Away to the Woods Anymore
Every time I miss the bus or have to ride my bike against the wind, a raccoon gets a little closer to having a new neighbor. Though I think about it often, I’ve never actually abandoned my worldly possessions and run away to the woods, but I’m getting closer… Or, more accurately, I’m getting closer …
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Yelling at a Vending Machine
If I had been given a sort of character creation menu before I was born, some kind of set of options and variables from which I could pick how I’d grow up to look, I’d be in a pretty different situation than the one I’m in now. For one, I would have either made …
Some Apparent Change in Flavor: Sunshine Award
There was a time during my undergrad where I slept through the daylight and was active exclusively at night. I imagine people would have suspected I was a vampire, but I really like garlic-stuffed olives, so that kind of ruins my chances of being perceived as a sexy pale blood-fiend. The point here is that …
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Some Days Actually Go Well
Despite all the evidence I can gather to invalidate their claims, I’m pretty sure there will always be a swarm of toxic bees roiling around my head, screaming in hive-mind unison that my insecurities are right, that anyone who enjoys my company just hasn’t gotten to know me well enough, that I should probably open …
Non-Euclidean Sofa 