Mostly Adequate!
Through a series of bad decisions which my future biographer will refer to as “Undergraduate Career and Caffeine Addiction,” I don’t really drink coffee anymore. As a consequence, I’ve gone from having the caffeine tolerance of a cross-country trucker to that of a tiny marshmallow baby. I am sweet, puffy, and also like marshmallows, but …
Continue reading "I am a Marshmallow Baby, and This is My Tale"
I’ve never told anyone this, but if Barack Obama and I hug, the resulting explosion could destroy the entire Western hemisphere. When that much cool directly encounters my near limitless anti-cool, the results can be catastrophic. If I even spend too much time letting my eyes ski down those magnificent cheekbones, there’s risk of a …
Continue reading "I Can’t Stop Embarrassing Myself in Front of my Students"
I remember being young and full of zest and zeal, being so relentlessly alive that I couldn’t help but leave some noise in my wake. I remember running in the grocery store, loudly whining if my parents tricked me into going to church, playing Snake on my mom’s phone at the movies, yelling at the …
Continue reading "To the People Who Make Phone Calls in the Library"
The three-wattled bellbird has a call audible to humans up to half a mile away; it lives primarily in Central America, and from the base of its beak protrude three long worm-like tendrils. Most, if given the choice, do not surround themselves with three-wattled bellbirds in part because they are very secretive, and in part, …
Continue reading "Loud People Visiting Schools and a Brief Discussion of Birds"
It took a while for me to get used to seeing my students in the wild. It seemed strange to see them in an environment where they wouldn’t be obligated to listen to me when I tell them to stop talking. I was an awkward mess when I first started running into students around town, …
Continue reading "What Happens When I See My Students in the Real World"
Non-Euclidean Sofa 